How to Deprogram, Re-evaluate, and Reconnect
In Part 1, we explored the discomfort and disorientation many of us feel as the pace of societal change accelerates. Traditions, identities, and even our sense of what’s “normal” are being challenged, often in real time, in our homes, relationships, and internal lives.
Now we move to the “what next?” How can we navigate this transition consciously?
The key is not more information. It’s inner integration, which requires honesty, reflection, and a few powerful tools.
Tool 1: Reclaiming Our Inner Authority (Inner Self Work)
Let’s start with the self, not the polished, performative self we show the world, but the younger, earlier layers of us that still subconsciously influence how we react to challenge.
We all inherit beliefs from our upbringing, culture, education, and formative experiences. Many of these were absorbed before we had the ability to question or choose. And so, we carry emotional operating systems that were never consciously installed.
- Inner self-work doesn’t mean regressing. It means remembering:
- Where did this belief come from?
- Does it still serve me?
- Would I consciously choose it today?
By bringing curiosity, to our inherited narratives, we begin to release what no longer fits and reclaim the space to author our own.
Tool 2: Reflective Practice: Begin With Awareness
One of the most powerful things we can do is pause and ask:
“Where did this belief come from, and do I still need it?”
This isn’t about being wrong or abandonment.
It’s about curiosity, compassion, and conscious choice.
We can’t rewire the world until we begin to rewire our own reactions.
And the good news is: our inner system is changeable.
Through reflective coaching, journaling, honest dialogue, and support from trusted others, we can begin to notice:
- When we react out of fear, rather than values
- When we cling to being “right,” rather than being connected
- When we repeat inherited patterns without questioning them
This is the doorway to personal transformation, and it’s also how societal change begins.
Tool 3: Conflict as an Invitation — Not an Enemy
When beliefs clash, most people want to retreat or win. But what if conflict isn’t failure, it’s feedback?
One philosophy that speaks to this is drawn from Rudolf Steiner's work. He taught that real social harmony arises when we recognise the need for different aspects of society, education, economy, and governance to be held in balance, not dominance. While his ideas are complex, the essence is clear: Lasting peace requires respecting different spheres of human life and allowing each to flourish without controlling the others.
This principle applies at the interpersonal level, too.
When we enter conflict with curiosity instead of combat, we create space for shared understanding. We move from “I’m right, you’re wrong” to “What are we both trying to protect?” That question alone can change everything.
Tool 4: Beyond the “Inner Child”: Tending to the Inner Self
Much has been said about inner child work; while powerful, the term can sometimes feel inaccessible or uncomfortable. So let’s reframe it:
Instead of “talking to your inner child,” try explaining:
“It’s about revisiting that younger part of us, not to relive the fear, but to offer our younger self the clarity, reassurance, and wisdom that we hold now, providing the opportunity to give the care that ideally should have been there at the time. Enabling us to update what we believed to be true — rewriting the inner source code.”
This small shift honours the wisdom of our early adaptations without making us feel diminished. It lets us care for the parts of ourselves that learned to survive and now long to grow.
And this inner work, this reparenting of our beliefs, is what makes us more grounded, more compassionate, and more open to others who think and live differently from us.
Tool 5: Reflective Questions That Can Shift Our Inner Operating System
I’ve created a one-page downloadable reflection sheet with simple but effective questions to begin the re-evaluation process, for yourself, your community, or your clients.
These aren’t surface-level prompts. They’re designed to nudge beneath the surface and invite awareness of the deeper architecture beneath our assumptions.
Example questions:
- Where did this belief come from? Do I remember who first modelled it to me?
- What tradition or expectation am I unconsciously trying to uphold?
- When someone challenges my belief, what do I feel, fear, shame, or anger? Why?
- What might I discover if I stopped defending this belief for just five minutes?
- What part of me is afraid of being seen as “wrong”, and what would it mean to release that fear?
👉 Click the image to download the reflection sheet.
Tool 6: The Pause That Becomes a Path
There is so much chaos at the moment, energetically, physically and mentally, a real frenetic type of energy with all the powerful shifts and changes that are happening in the world. We are living in an era where institutions are shaking, traditions are fraying, and the pace of change is confronting us with ourselves.
The task ahead isn’t to find the right side. It’s to become clearer vessels of integrity, compassion, and conscious discernment.
As we question what we inherited and co-create what comes next, the invitation is simple:
- Am I truly certain that my strongest beliefs are rooted in sound reasoning, or have I simply inherited and absorbed them without question?
- If I brought fresh curiosity to those early moments when the belief first took hold, would I choose the same today, knowing what I know now?
- Am I open, even when it’s uncomfortable, to seeing through another’s eyes, and recognising that true wisdom may lie not in certainty, but in the ability to hold and honour multiple perspectives?
After all, would you step onto a plane if you weren’t sure the pilot and engineers had run their safety checks? Then why wouldn’t we apply the same level of care and inquiry to the beliefs that guide our thoughts, our actions… and our impact?
Because maybe growth isn’t about finding better answers. Maybe it’s about learning to ask wiser questions…
