Have you ever felt like life was throwing storms your way, leaving you shaken?
Life is unpredictable. It brings anxiety, loss, uncertainty, and sudden change, moments that can feel overwhelming. But what if those storms weren’t here to break us? What if they were trying to teach us something?
A Personal Story
For several decades, my life seemed like a series of relentless challenges. I was simply surviving, moving from one difficulty to the next. Then one day, everything paused, quite literally, when I was involved in a motorway collision with an army lorry. What followed was trauma counselling. And after one of the sessions, I found myself reflecting deeply.
I remembered a piece of advice a solicitor once gave me: “Lay everything out on a timeline. Put it in order. The cause may reveal itself.”
So, I did.
Pen in hand, I began charting my life’s biggest challenges on a piece of paper. When I stepped back to look at the timeline, something unexpected happened: I had an epiphany. I saw that each challenge had built on the one before it. If I hadn’t made it through the first, I wouldn’t have survived the second. If I hadn’t faced the second, the third would have overwhelmed me.
What once felt like a chaotic string of hardships now looked like a curriculum, a series of progressive lessons. It felt like… a syllabus for the University of Life.
Have my life challenges stopped? No.
Have they got easier? Not exactly, but I’ve become less resistant to them. And that’s something I feel quietly proud of. Because the bigger the challenge, perhaps the more advanced the lesson. Maybe we’re not in life’s kindergarten anymore, maybe it’s a Master’s degree. Or two.
Do I welcome life’s storms? Not really. But I now meet them with more curiosity than fear.
"These storms are not here to break us. They are here to awaken us, to remind us of the strength that already lives within".
Reframing the Storm
Our instinct during hard times is often resistance. And who could blame us? We want to return to comfort, to what we know. But resistance can lock us in a loop, reacting, defending, retreating.
To borrow a phrase from Star Trek: “Resistance is futile”.
Fighting the wave only tires us. Our power lies in learning to move with it and ask new questions.
Try asking:
- What is this challenge here to teach me?
- What new possibility is trying to emerge?
And as coaches, we can support others in doing the same.
Invite reflection with questions like:
- What strength are you being invited to reclaim?
- How might this storm be guiding you forward?
A Neurological Perspective
This isn’t just about mindset, it’s also about your brain.
The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is the part of your brain that filters information. What you focus on, it brings into sharper view. If you look for lessons, resilience, or growth, your RAS will help you see them. If you focus and look for fear, chaos, or blame, you’ll find that too.
This is why even a simple gratitude practice during challenging times can open up emotional clarity. It shifts the filter.
Spotting the Signs of Fear (and Growth)
Understanding how fear shows up helps us navigate it more consciously. It can appear:
Mentally:
- Overthinking or catastrophising
- Perfectionism or procrastination
- Avoidance or people-pleasing
Physically:
- Tight shoulders
- Shallow breathing
- Restless sleep
In contrast, signs of growth might look like:
- Openness and curiosity
- Calm confidence amid uncertainty
- A desire to engage, learn, and connect
We cannot access our creativity when we operate from fear. And creativity is what we need most when facing challenges.
The more consciously we notice these signals, the more choices we create.
COACHING EXERCISE 1:
Reframing Fear: A Simple Practice
Here are a few ways to transform fear into fuel, for you or your clients:
1. Name It to Tame It
Write your fear down in one sentence. Clarity starts the healing process.
2. Body-Based Awareness
Check in with your head, heart, and gut. Ask:
- What am I truly afraid of?
- What would it take to feel at ease?
- What baby steps can I start taking today?
3. Gratitude Alchemy
Even discomfort can be transformed. Ask: What can I appreciate about this moment?
4. Anchor with Affirmations
Try affirming truths like:
- I Am Calm
- I Am Loving
- I Am Growing
These are more than words. They’re energetic cues, anchors for expansion.
COACHING EXERCISE 2:
Mapping Your Syllabus: A Reflective Timeline Exercise
If you’re curious to explore your own “University of Life,” try this simple reflective timeline practice.
- Map the Moments
On a blank sheet of paper, sketch a chronological timeline of your most significant life challenges. Don’t worry about perfection, mark the events that felt defining or disruptive. - Reflect on the Lessons
Beside each moment, ask yourself:- What did this experience ask of me?
- What strength or skill did I have to develop to get through it?
- How did it shape who I am today?
- Let the Pattern Emerge
Step back and notice what patterns or themes begin to form. Can you see a progression? A deepening? A return to certain lessons?
You might begin to see the ‘what’ the qualities life has been drawing out of you, but not necessarily the ‘why’. And that’s okay. Sometimes understanding ‘why’ comes much later, if at all. For now, simply noticing the rhythm and progression can offer clarity, even comfort.
Often, what first feels like chaos reveals itself to be a curriculum, a personal syllabus in the University of Life.
Final Reflection
Every challenge is a teacher, not just a test. We are not here to get through life unscathed. We are here to become more conscious, more resilient, more ourselves.
So when the next storm comes, pause. Listen. Ask what it might be awakening in you.
Because your light?
It’s not behind you.
It’s already within you, ready to shine.
Embrace the storms. They are the catalysts for our growth.
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