A quiet reflection on purpose, happiness, and what really matters in the end.

Last week, I helped write a eulogy for a dear family friend, and something quietly profound came to light in the process.

Eulogies are meant to celebrate someone’s life, to summarise the essence of who they were, what they did, and how they’ll be remembered. They’re a kind of storybook ending. A final paragraph. A closing chapter.

And yet, as I sat with her story, I realised something: there’s often a strange disconnect between how we spend our lives, and how we’re ultimately remembered by those we leave behind..

We chase achievements, promotions, houses, recognition, set goals, hit milestones, and accumulate “success.” But when the time comes to summarise a life, it’s rarely the titles, awards, wealth, or possessions that people mention.

They speak instead of presence, of kindness, of honesty, of how someone made them feel.

Success or Significance?

By most societal standards, my friend hadn’t achieved anything particularly “remarkable.”

• She didn’t found a company.
• She didn’t write a book.
• She didn’t climb mountains or break world records.

However, ask anyone who knew her, and they will tell you that she mattered and she is now effectively living on in the lives she touched.

She was disarmingly honest, the kind of person who told you the truth kindly, without pretence. She didn’t sugarcoat. She didn’t perform. And because of that, she created space for deeper conversations, the kind where we could drop the mask and just… be real. It's only by having the courage to have such candid, respectful conversations that we grow in wisdom.

Her influence wasn’t loud. But it was lasting.

It made me wonder: How many of us spend our lives striving to build a legacy… without realising that our legacy is already being written in every interaction we have?

The Shifting Shape of Happiness

What we chase and what we call “happiness” often shift as we grow.
At first, it’s about safety: food, shelter, security.
Then, it’s about belonging: love, friendship, community.
Later, it becomes recognition: status, achievement, reputation.

And eventually, if we’re lucky or disillusioned just enough, we start asking deeper questions:

• Who am I beneath all of this?
• What really matters?
• What do I want to leave behind?

Happiness, it turns out, isn’t a destination.
It’s not something we finally arrive at when all the boxes are ticked.
It’s how we walk the road.

Maybe It’s Simpler Than We Think

Maybe happiness isn’t found in being impressive. Maybe it’s found in being authentic.

Maybe what lasts isn’t what we achieved, but how we showed up, who we were, how we shared, and the people who felt truly seen in our presence.

And maybe the true measure of a life isn’t in how much we have achieved, but in how deeply we have connected along the way and left our impression.

A Quiet Question to End

So here’s the question I was left with, and perhaps, you’d like to sit with it too:

Who am I, really, to the people who matter to me, my loved ones, friends, and community? 

And is that how I want to be remembered?

Because the way we live doesn’t just shape our own experience, it creates ripples that reach far beyond what we can see. We rarely know the full impact we’ve had on someone else’s life: a kind word, a moment of presence, an honest conversation. Yet those moments matter, and they can echo through generations to come.